Putting It Out There- The Risks of Sharing VS. The Rewards

Hi all,

This past week, I posted about Nick's college struggles and I knew he wouldn't be "thrilled" with me for sharing, but I felt the possibility of the rewards were worth the risk of him getting a little upset with me. Turns out, he wasn't "thrilled" but wasn't that upset either. It also turns out, the rewards I hoped for came by some of Nick's friends checking in with him, messages of encouragement and advice were sent to me (Greg and I) and to Nick, and we've had some good conversations about the whole thing. Thank you to everyone who called, e-mailed, sent messages to us. We always appreciate it so much.

The truth is, I personally believe in taking risks in life and putting myself out there. I'm ALWAYS encouraging Nick to do this (and Isabella too!) and I truly believe the rewards are worth the risk of getting hurt at times. If we don't take risks in life, share ourselves with others, we won't experience real love and friendships at all in my opinion. I didn't always feel this way and I have definitely been "burned" and hurt in life, like most people, by taking the risk of putting myself out there. I don't think we ever forget those moments. BUT, it's worth it to me and I feel I've gotten much more benefit from sharing than by not.

When talking with the kids about being afraid to take a risk, try something, put themselves out there, I always tell them to ask themselves, "What is the worst thing that can happen?" As long as they or someone else is not getting hurt, then it is usually not that bad once they think about it. They'll answer, "______ will happen", or I'll fail, or I won't be good at it, people will laugh at me, make fun of me, get mad at me, judge me, etc., on and on...................things we all think if we're honest. I tell them when they get to be my age, they just won't care so much about those things! LOL! We laugh and I'm trying to be funny but it's true:-) Really though, then I say to them, "Ok, imagine that happens. Is it that bad?" Long story short, they often (not always, but often) realize they'll be OK.

People (friends, family, others) have asked me why or how I can share such personal information with others in this blog, including my feelings which are not always "pretty". The truth is, it was hard for me at first but I am pretty blunt by nature and I've grown to be comfortable with sharing our stories of Nick's disability over the years. Nick was only about six months old when we were first asked to talk to a class of graduate students about Nick (our story) and the services he was receiving. Since then, I (and we) have spoken to more classes, groups, etc. than I can count and as you can imagine, our stories and feelings are constantly changing and evolving. From the very beginning, we were told how helpful our willingness to share these things were to others in numerous ways. They didn't mean just the facts, but often said they appreciated or were moved by us being honest about our feelings and it made them stop and think about things.  I now feel that if good things can come from sharing our struggles, triumphs, etc., then it is worth the risk of criticism and judgements by others. Maybe some people wouldn't be as comfortable "putting it all out there" or would be more restrained than I am and I respect that. Many people, however, continue to thank me,  tell me it is helpful to them to read the blog, or that they understand what we are going through,  I get useful information and advice from others, and more. The benefits far outweigh the downside to this as far as I'm concerned. And I feel, if I am not REAL about how we feel about things, and only share the "good" things, and not the challenges and reality, the benefit would not be as great. It wouldn't be the truthful. This is the reality of the journey we are on together.

I think the truth is we have a great family and great life. This involves the good and the bad. We have to have both to really appreciate life. So, even though I will not always please everyone, people won't always be happy with what I have to say, and with all of our imperfections out there for people to read about, I know it is still worth it to continue to share our life and experiences, especially related to Nick's disability. I can only hope ( I believe) we will continue to benefit from it and someone else may benefit from it too. ( I believe we will!)  To me, it's important to take that risk and I know the rewards will be worth it.

Blessings:-)
Amy