Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Time for Reflection

Hi all,

My last personal post was back in June! I took the summer to spend a lot of time with Greg and the kids, we took a wonderful family vacation, and I spent a lot of time reflecting.

Last summer I was in the hospital, almost didn't make it at one point, came home from the hospital still very sick and it's taken me the past year to totally get rid of the infection in my body and although I'm infection free and doing much better, I am far from 100% yet! Last summer was hard on the family and they've spent the last year taking care of me. So, Greg had almost the entire month of July off from work and we went to Florida for a 2 1/2 weeks. We first spent a couple of days in Tampa and visited the Florida Aquarium and recovered from the drive down. Then we went to the Gulf coast and rented a BEAUTIFUL three story town home on Anna Maria Island, Florida on Bradenton Beach. (http://www.annamariaislandchamber.org to check out info, about this beautiful island!) You can see pics and info. of the town home we rented at http://www.vrbo.com/434635#overview, It was PERFECT for us because it had an elevator which Nick could use from the garage to all three floors in his wheelchair and we also used it to get our luggage up to the third floor bedrooms and bathrooms and laundry room and the groceries up to the second floor. One of the two pools at the Bradenton Beach Club (where the town home was) was directly across the street from out town home and we used the pool and hot tub daily after the beaches. About a three minute walk to the right led us to a gazebo on Tampa Bay which we loved and about the same distance to the right was the gate to the private beach and another pool right on the Gulf. The island is only about 7 miles wide and where our town home was, it was about two blocks wide. It is a barrier island between Tampa and Sarasota, so you are covered on all sides by water, so even though it was July in Florida, we NEVER got too hot, and we are NOT hot weather people believe me! There was always a breeze and it would rain about 30 minutes a day, usually in the afternoons, which cooled the place off even more. We visited all of the 7 beaches on the island, and spent full days at about four of them, going back to coquina beach the most, our favorite, and found several we liked a lot. We used Nick's beach wheelchair every day, which is why we always drive down and pull a trailer behind the van with Nick's power chair, beach wheelchair, manual chair for when we go places with just the van, and all of our luggage. Truthfully, we LOVE the drive! Because I was not up to doing much walking, we spent every day at the beach, then the pool, going to the shops and great local restaurants (no fast food on the island!), went to three movies at night, went to a GREAT boat ride on the bay and saw dolphins, sting and manta rays, got to get some shells on a sand bar in the middle of the bay with the crabs, it was AWESOME! We also went out to the private beach at night was listened to the waves, etc. We tried shark (tasted like chicken) and Isabella tried lots of other seafood local to the area. So, it sounds like we were very busy but we actually spent most of our time on the beach and in the water most of the days. It was very relaxing actually! We cannot wait to go back there someday and if/when we do, we want to stay in the exact same townhouse. We were able to cook some great meal there too! We needed the family time and it was really over due.

Nick turned 20 on August 18th and started his third year of college at UT. He is still majoring in business and minoring I disability studies. I can't believe he is 20! He started wheelchair football again this month. Isabella turned 14 on September 20th and started 8th grade. I can't believe she'll be in high school next year! She is in band, choir, and on student council.

One thing that has been on our mind is my Mom and Dad, NaNa and PaPa Jagel. My Dad is still in dialysis and my Mom has spent the past year trying to be cleared to donate a kidney to my Dad. Just before our trip, my Mom had to have surgery to remove pre-cancerous tumors and it went well and she's had to get off all of her medications for health issues she has and has undergone every physical and test you can imagine to be able to donate a kidney to my Dad. My Dad turns 73 in November and they don't usually do transplants on people after that age, so we are anxious for it to happen and are awaiting final approval from the transplant team. We have a family meeting this week at the hospital, Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit, Mi. We expect to hear something soon. As both of my parents are going to have surgery, it is stressful and we are of course worried but my Mom has her heart set on doing this and dialysis is really taking a toll on my Dad. From what my Mom said, they will need someone to be with them to help them 24/7 for about 4 weeks, so we will need to take turns with family members and Isabella really wants to help every weekend too.

So, as I mentioned I've been reflecting a lot on my own health, getting  back to being able to function normally again which I am not yet ( I have some good days and a lot of  bad days in a lot of pain and in bed), planning to help out and be there for my Mom and Dad as much as possible in the coming months, wanting to get back to "active" parenting again with the kids. We've just been in survival mode for much of the past year and I want to start being proactive and thinking ahead a bit, but still living in the moment with them. One thing I've learned is that all you really have is this very minute and all the planning in the world can be a nice idea but anything can change your plans at any minute and I'm really OK with that now. Once I get to the point physically where I can function through entire days again, I have to figure out what I am going to do with myself (work, family, etc.). Finally, I have  been thinking about THIS BLOG!!!!!!

I have felt like I haven't had much to share and contribute the past year or two because of everything going on with my health and this has zapped me and for a long time, I was really "down" and not feeling like being online or blogging or anything. I've been wondering if anyone reads the blog, if I have anything new of value to share, etc. I love having a "record" of what's happened with Team Hyndman over the past several years. I also love to share good information that maybe someone will relate to or be able to use. So, I am going to keep trying to do this blogging thing and as I continue to get myself better, I am going to share the things Nick is going through and how these issues related to his disability affect him and our family, as well as information about our family. A great deal of it has already been shared but we're still here and things are still going on and I will get to a point eventually where I will have the energy to  be a bit more proactive. For example, some of the things that are still REAL and ongoing issues for Nick include isolation and social issues, wanting to date and meet someone to share his life with, how family and friends are still there for him or not as their lives change and move on, Nick's need to become more independent in some areas still and our role in that, etc. I mean, Nick is in college and doing well but his life is still very lonely and isolated in many ways. He can be lonely even in a room full of people if he has no meaningful relationship with people. It's difficult to describe so I hope this makes sense. Also, I don't think Nick likes it when I talk about these things at times because it's like rubbing salt in a very old and ongoing wound. What can we as his family do to help him and how much do we do that? Well, I have some answers but not all of them. All that has happened has also had a great effect on Isabella as well. What many don't know is that she has a lot of OCD symptoms and has been struggling with a lot too and we are trying to figure out the best way to help her too. She has had a lot of responsibility for a girl her age with helping with Nick physically all these years, and helping out at home and with me a lot the past few years, cooking, taking care of me, cleaning. It's a lot for a girl her age and I wish I could change it but it happened. She is ALWAYS thinking of others in her family, friends, wanting to help animals and others, and I just think she needs to focus on herself more! She has some wonderful qualities such as kindness, helpfulness, empathy, caring, but it's been taking a toll on her and we want her to focus on herself a bit more. So, when I talk about reflecting over the summer, all of these things are what I'm referring to and I hope to find the strength and words to blog about them at a later time.

Please keep my parents and our family in your prayers! We would appreciate that very much!

Blessings:-)
Amy