Nick's Homecoming

Yesterday, 10/10/09, Nick attended his first homecoming as a Junior at Perrysburg High School. He went with his friend, Shannon, who attends another high school. They went to Olive Garden to eat, had a great time at the dance, and came back to the house to hang out. Nick looked handsome and Shannon was beautiful. We were thrilled for him and he said he had a GREAT time!

Everything I just wrote is the truth and that is what we have told and will tell people when they ask us about it. There is, however, a bit of a back-story to this event with a "cerebral palsy twist". It started about a month ago when Nick told us he had asked Shannon to homecoming. We were pleasantly surprised and knew this took a lot of courage for him to ask her. Our thoughts immediately turned to, "how is this going to work?" I know that may sound ridiculous to some and you may laugh. For starters, Nick has never attended a dance or anything like this at school before. We were thrilled and hopeful for him. We know Nick and we spoke to him about his concerns. We knew he had them and we were right, because we know him so well. First, he was concerned about eating in front of Shannon. I mean, for Nick, he has involuntary movements and also fine motor delays, meaning he has trouble using utensils and it can be difficult for him to eat like others do. Sometimes, this can be messy. Usually, Nick is very self-conscious about this and over the years, we have developed some strategies to make this easier, helping him at times, cutting food up so it is easier for him, using a straw, eating "less messy" food, even if this means he prefers the taste of the "messier" food. At home, of course, Nick is free and feels free to be himself and doesn't worry about this stuff.

The second concern Nick had was, what if he needs to use the restroom at the dance and he has no one to help him undo his belt and button on his pants. What if he needs help with something? (of course, we say "ask", but this is his first date so to speak so I can understand why he wouldn't want to have to do that!) He didn't know if he could dance out of his wheelchair and if Shannon would want to dance with him in his chair. He said he REALLY wanted to dance a few dances at least out of his chair. What if he fell? What if he couldn't hear in the dance? Of course, if he wears his hearing aids, will it be "too loud?" The pick up everything, sometimes he has to take them out at events. What if no one hangs out with them? All of these things were going through his head as we had suspected and he told us so.

So, we started strategizing like we normally do. This is something that just comes as second nature. We want him to do this and we want him to be "out there" living and have these experiences and we know he can do it, but it we're admittedly concerned about some of these details too. So, we took him to Kohls to get a whole new outfit. That was fun. We had to get shoes that are almost three sizes bigger than his foot so he can wear his AFO's (leg braces, Ankle-Foot Orthotics) which he didn't want to do, but he knew he had to if he was going to have any chance of being able to stand up out of his wheelchair and dance on his feet. We found the shoes that fit perfectly over the AFOs. Then, we knew Nick usually gets food on his clothing when he eats, so we bought TWO shirts and TWO ties, identical, so if he did get it all messy, when we picked them up to take them from the restaurant to the dance, he could change and not be self-conscious about that. Then he could eat and not worry. Then we and my Dad practiced dancing with Nick, slow-dancing, after school most days in his AFOs so he could learn what to do and what that felt like, to be on his feet and balance himself. We talked about how he could handle various situations too, like falling, etc. The bottom line is, we told him to just have fun and enjoy himself, be honest, tell Shannon when odd situations arise and talk about it, laugh about it, and if she could see beyond his chair to say "yes" to go to the dance, she obviously likes him for who he is. We said, "it's not like she doesn't KNOW you have CP! Right?" News flash......Nick has CP! We laughed about all of that.
Finally, the night before the dance, we took Nick to Olive Garden for a "trial run". That was quite a sacrifice, eating a good meal at one of our favorite restaurants:) (smile) We went over the menu. Nick wanted something that would take the least effort,, that he liked of course, so he decided upon pizza. (Even though his favorite is spaghetti and meatballs, which he gets plenty of, believe me!) We went over the straw, spoke to the staff and made sure if he needed someone to help cut things up, they would. Nick didn't want to have to worry about asking all of this at dinner.

Nick didn't sleep much the night before, pretty normal I guess. Greg spent about two hours getting him ready, BOTH sets of his grandparents came over for pictures and we all traveled in caravan-style to Shannon's house where we and her father took a significant amount of pictures. Nick wrote something special for Shannon and gave her an Elmo, one of her favorites. Nick didn't seem to mind the fact that we were all there and they both indulged us our moments to take so many pictures. We then took them to dinner and ate at a near-by restaurant so we could be available if Nick needed anything and to pick them up when they were finished. He texted Greg shortly into dinner with a few "technical" questions and then texted and said it was "all good, having a great time!" They went to the dance and called to come back to our house to hang out a couple of hours later. Nick and Shannon both said they had a good time, but it was SO LOUD they couldn't talk, so they wanted to come here to hang out. They hung out here for about an hour and a half (not with us!) and Greg and Nick took Shannon home.

A few details that Nick gave us afterwards.....first he had a great time. Second, he said, tons of people came up and said hello, he introduced Shannon, but no one really hung out with them at all, so they two of them just hung out together. He didn't say this was bad, just a fact. Not sure what I think about that, but if he's ok, so am I. He said he danced a few dances with Shannon standing up, slow dances, which went pretty well. Then he said he tried to dance fast but fell, and Shannon helped him up. He said it was no big deal, then he danced in his chair. Overall, he had a great night and we were really happy for him! There was this hesitation in his voice when he talked about it, he didn't say what that was and we let him just tell us what he wanted to tell us. He genuinely seemed to have a great night. WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all slept hard last night and are for some reason, exhausted today. For sure, the entire family had hope and anticipation for this event. For us, it was more than just a dance. It meant a lot more to Nick we think and it definitely meant a lot more to us. It was a first. We know Nick can deal with things that come up regarding his CP. I think because we've always just done these things as a kind of "team", that is just how we felt. It was Nick's night for sure. We didn't want to make it about us, it WAS about Nick. You can't separate us, though. We're a family and a team. Team Hyndman! What affects one of us, affects us all. That is how families work, how our family works. I wouldn't have it any other way. I can assure you that we'd do the same for any one of us. We can't even begin to think about Isabella going to dances though. Thank goodness we've got a few years before that!:)
Blessings:)
Amy