I See You

I See You

My dearest Nick, I see YOU.
Some people may look at you and see a boy with cerebral palsy. I see a
BOY. I see a boy who is loving and sweet and funny. I see a handsome boy with big beautiful brown eyes and a smile that lights up a room. I see a boy who loves to play, who loves sports, plays baseball, rides horses, loves music, and is very, very smart. I see a boy who is wise beyond his years and loves his family and friends and cares about others he does not even know personally.
Some people may look at you and see a boy who struggles to walk and talk and who cannot run. Some people may see a boy who has limitations. I see a boy who works harder than anyone I know to do all of the things other people do and take for granted. I see a boy with ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES.
Some people may see a boy with limits to his dreams because of his disability. I see a boy who has no limits to his dreams because in his mind, he dreams to play sports and run and he dreams endless dreams for himself. Some people may look at you and see a boy who gets frustrated because of his disability. I see a boy who tried harder than anyone I know and even when he is sad and frustrated, he is positive in the face of his challenges. I see a boy who never gives up and keeps on trying even when others would give up.
Nick, you may think that other people see your disability instead of YOU, but they do not. If they take the time to get to know you, they see YOU. I see YOU. You are the most amazing person I know and I am grateful God has let me be your Mom. I see and have the most amazing son anyone could ask for. When you are feeling low or facing a challenge, remember who you are and that I see YOU. I see the incredible, wonderful YOU.

Love,
Mom
August 2001

I wrote that for Nick when he was 8 years-old, 8 years ago now. He is a young man now, not a boy, but this is still relevant for him today. He still experiences this problem today and I got this out again to remind him of what I want him to know.

I was recently asked to be an Advisory Board member at The Ability Center of Greater Toledo (www.abilitycenter.org) to address issues of community inclusion for individuals with disabilities. I attended our first meeting this past Friday and I feel honored to be part of a team with such qualified individuals and hope to learn a lot and contribute a lot. There's a lot to do! We were fortunate to have Derrick Dufresne, a consultant (and more) re: disability issues. During our discussions, we talked about one consistent fact that continues to come up, which is the fact that individuals with disabilities of all ages express that they are lonely and are socially isolated. I wasn't suprised as I have heard this from many individuals with disabilities and their family members in my work, but also because we live this with Nick. Nick has expressed this for YEARS, back when he was 8 and I wrote "I See You" and still today. We've done everything we know as parents to address this and "make it better". I've read tons of books, including one on facilitating friendships between kids with disabilities and kids without disabilities, and more. I've talked to people and I bet, if you came up with a suggestions, we've already tried it. So has Nick. We can only hope he continues to put himself out there and keep trying, live his life fully, and as his peers "mature", they will take more time out to get to know him, SPEND TIME with him. I've always said, there is a big difference between being "friendly", saying "hello", etc., than being a "friend". Big difference and Nick knows this too! Now, I hope with my work on the ACT Advisory Board, this will be one more small way to address this issue for Nick and others. If we can get out there in the community with businesses and schools and get them to really, meaningfully serve and employ individuals with disabilities (with supports from ACT and other disability agencies of course), then maybe people will start to see individuals with disabilities as "INDIVIDUALS" first, and their disability as only one small part of what makes them who they are. I'm not naive enough to think this will happen anytime soon. We have to start though, one person, one business, one day at a time. In the meantime, Nick, keep doing what you are doing and remember who you are and that I (and your Dad and Bella) see and love YOU and we're here for you:)

Blessings:)
Amy