Last week, Nick went to Camp Storer in Jackson, Michigan for a week-long overnight camp. (http://www.ymcastorercamps.org/) He was able to do this because the Ability Center of Greater Toledo provided the staff and assistance to assist Nick and other campers with disabilities so they could be included in this camp experience. (http://www.abilitycenter.org/) This was a first for Nick, who will be 16 next week!
I admit, beforehand, Greg and I were pretty nervous. We wanted Nick to have this experience which was long overdue, but we of course, worried about him having all of the physical support and assistance he needed. We also worried that Nick wouldn't be able to be fully included in activities. The first day we dropped him off, however, we were able to see the cabin, the staff, and left with a sense of peace that everything would be OK and also a GREAT sense of excitement for Nick. As it turned out, Nick had a GREAT time and had all of the help he needed, as well as a lot of fun. Nick said he got to do things he was never able to do and he loved it. He went swimming, rode horses (he used to ride them for therapy), shot rifles (interesting for someone with CP and involuntary movements........), had camp-fires, survival skills, crafts, sports, and a dance. Nick said he got out there in his chair and just danced like crazy. Afterwards, we went to the former "All-Star Dairy", now called the Parlour, with our parents and our niece and nephew. The four kids had the 21-scoop "Dare to be Great" which was an experience I had as a kid after being picked up from Camp Storer. Then we came home and I got to experience "camp dirt and sand" and two days of "camp laundry" and you know, I didn't really mind. I mean, this is what we've always wanted for Nick, to be able to do the things that all other kids do. I think sometimes other parents we know (unintentionally) take these things for granted. Unfortunately, by Friday night, the night he came home, he got REALLY sick and is still sick, but that will happen! Nick get sick really easily, so we have to be mindful of this. Sometimes a "cold" for other kids, turns out to be much more than that for Nick. It takes a lot more out of him. I always cringe when I hear people say things like, "it' just a cold" or minimize it, because for Nick, it often affects him in a much more serious way. So, we have to be careful. Having said that, we are still just so happy he had such a fun time!
Friends and professionals have told us and teased us for years now, telling us at times we have been "overprotective" of Nick, that we needed to let him do more, etc. I have to say, letting kids go is something all parents have to do and experience. It's never easy!! I admit, we probably have been overprotective at times, for sure. After experiencing mistakes and bad treatment by professionals at times, Nick's illnesses, and knowing the level of assistance he needs (which people who don't spend time with him or know him underestimate...), we definitely have been overprotective, or just plain cautious. I always say, parenting a child with a disability is "parenthood magnified" meaning you have the "normal" parenting issues, then the added layer of disability issues. So, for us, we've watched Nick not be included in things because or his disability, or activities not having the needed supports for Nick, and all of those kinds of things. Our experience has been, if you listen to others, you can't "win" because some people think we let Nick do too much and should "help" him more and some think we haven't let him do enough. I think we've done exactly what we have felt was right for Nick at each time, was right for us too, and have just done the best job we could at each moment in time. The bottom line is, I think we are a good balance between being protective BECAUSE of Nick's disability, AND we want him to get out there and live, be included in the world and have all of the experiences others have. I think we are realistic and optimistic at the same time. So, we are in the process of "letting go" as Nick is growing up, and it is better late than never! I can't say we'll do it perfectly, but if we have our way, Nick will have more opportunities to be out there, where he belongs, like he was last week at Camp Storer. We are thankful to the Ability Center for making that happen. What's next? I think we're ready and so is Nick.
I admit, beforehand, Greg and I were pretty nervous. We wanted Nick to have this experience which was long overdue, but we of course, worried about him having all of the physical support and assistance he needed. We also worried that Nick wouldn't be able to be fully included in activities. The first day we dropped him off, however, we were able to see the cabin, the staff, and left with a sense of peace that everything would be OK and also a GREAT sense of excitement for Nick. As it turned out, Nick had a GREAT time and had all of the help he needed, as well as a lot of fun. Nick said he got to do things he was never able to do and he loved it. He went swimming, rode horses (he used to ride them for therapy), shot rifles (interesting for someone with CP and involuntary movements........), had camp-fires, survival skills, crafts, sports, and a dance. Nick said he got out there in his chair and just danced like crazy. Afterwards, we went to the former "All-Star Dairy", now called the Parlour, with our parents and our niece and nephew. The four kids had the 21-scoop "Dare to be Great" which was an experience I had as a kid after being picked up from Camp Storer. Then we came home and I got to experience "camp dirt and sand" and two days of "camp laundry" and you know, I didn't really mind. I mean, this is what we've always wanted for Nick, to be able to do the things that all other kids do. I think sometimes other parents we know (unintentionally) take these things for granted. Unfortunately, by Friday night, the night he came home, he got REALLY sick and is still sick, but that will happen! Nick get sick really easily, so we have to be mindful of this. Sometimes a "cold" for other kids, turns out to be much more than that for Nick. It takes a lot more out of him. I always cringe when I hear people say things like, "it' just a cold" or minimize it, because for Nick, it often affects him in a much more serious way. So, we have to be careful. Having said that, we are still just so happy he had such a fun time!
Friends and professionals have told us and teased us for years now, telling us at times we have been "overprotective" of Nick, that we needed to let him do more, etc. I have to say, letting kids go is something all parents have to do and experience. It's never easy!! I admit, we probably have been overprotective at times, for sure. After experiencing mistakes and bad treatment by professionals at times, Nick's illnesses, and knowing the level of assistance he needs (which people who don't spend time with him or know him underestimate...), we definitely have been overprotective, or just plain cautious. I always say, parenting a child with a disability is "parenthood magnified" meaning you have the "normal" parenting issues, then the added layer of disability issues. So, for us, we've watched Nick not be included in things because or his disability, or activities not having the needed supports for Nick, and all of those kinds of things. Our experience has been, if you listen to others, you can't "win" because some people think we let Nick do too much and should "help" him more and some think we haven't let him do enough. I think we've done exactly what we have felt was right for Nick at each time, was right for us too, and have just done the best job we could at each moment in time. The bottom line is, I think we are a good balance between being protective BECAUSE of Nick's disability, AND we want him to get out there and live, be included in the world and have all of the experiences others have. I think we are realistic and optimistic at the same time. So, we are in the process of "letting go" as Nick is growing up, and it is better late than never! I can't say we'll do it perfectly, but if we have our way, Nick will have more opportunities to be out there, where he belongs, like he was last week at Camp Storer. We are thankful to the Ability Center for making that happen. What's next? I think we're ready and so is Nick.
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